disengage

words stuck in my head
fingertips red
worked til they bled
what’s release without validation
miscommunication
I can’t stand me near
get away from here
and I’m stuck in this world I made
always afraid
have I gone insane
is this insane?
whats life without relaxation
without affirmation
I just need some space
can’t stand this place
words stuck on my lips
get a grip

the pencil slips.

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Focus

Gripping at pieces of my dreams

While trying to maintain me

Failing egregiously

And the outcome just repeats

Just tryna to find balance

Even though my footings absent

There’s always some contention

Some venomous condescension

When I demand an identity

You do not own me

And if I have to go it alone

A rising tide lifts all boats

Walden like Thoreau

Just tryna to find purpose

One  I don’t have to purchase

One  I don’t have to sell out

Something I can’t do without

But if it wants my soul- it’s got it

I will gladly give it

And with these thoughts I transmit

I demand the universe “listen!”

I have paid my dues

Its time for everyone else to follow through

I’m tired of being angry

I’m tired of being used

I’m tryna find focus

Though the glass is mad broken

And my patience is eroding

There is change approaching

And I hope that I stay strong

Keep the Red Road that I’m on

And if it is just me

I have no choice but to succeed.

Full stop.

tête-à-tête (unrevised)

I always thought my hands were weapons
Bruised knuckles, broken nails
Sifting through the dust and unraveling threads
Crushing your lungs and restricting your breath
but it’s my words that cut through the ribs
into the heart, your heart
and bleeds life dry
On a tongue is where love dies
feed me our mutual destruction
Lingering flavours of copper and regret
I’m a vampire of a different kind

 

some people are meant to be ghosts

yesterdays are far away
lost in a swirl of leaves and snow
seasons changing like your mind.
polar opposites
manic law of motions

were you meant to be somebody?

were you meant to be somebody?

I can’t keep track of the steps I took
that lead me back to disappointment
fool me once- shame on you
standing proud and unrepentant
fool me twice- the shame’s still yours
yesterdays are far away
somewhere lost in apathy
trying is no fun alone
memories atrophy

were you meant to be somebody?

were you meant to be somebody to me?

(I don’t want to know)

Mythos

Sin laid upon sin. Doubt laid upon doubt.
Shaky foundations cannot hold up mountains
and roots do not always hold fast.
Hazardous. Unsound.
I cannot champion this climb
and it falls as I always fall, falling apart.

Moon-born
I will stay ophic, living in murky twilight
burnt skin
throbbing, cracking, pulsating,
oozing night-blood.

Caught in a swam of birds, grasping for wings
slipping through my hands,
failing in my avidity,
I will not fly. Not today or any day.

  
  
I am Icarus, ground to dust.